Friday, March 6, 2015

Usher doesn't mind, but I do.

This song "I don't mind"  is not brand new but it's still getting a lot of play. A young lady sent me a video through email last night showing little girls dancing like strippers to the song in a school talent show. Really Usher? Really? Now you have the babies in school being trained to become strippers. The dance teacher who helped choreograph the dance needs to spend a day getting some talking to. I know I overreact but I'd fine her a month salary and put her in jail for the night. Those are young girls minds being destroyed!! It's bad enough that parents let kids listen to music like that, but as a teacher you have to do the opposite.

Let me be clear. I don't look down on strippers. I am not judging strippers. I feel sorry for strippers more than anything because I've been behind the scenes in their lives and heard their pain. I have been the life coach to some strippers who were contemplating leaving that pole alone. I love them just like I love all of God's children. So when I speak to the situation, I'm speaking from a place of love. I may not always word it the best, but it's from my heart.

Usher: Bruh STOP!!! Bruh CHILL!! Come on man. I don't think you have a daughter and that may be why you were able to make this song, but you can't be serious. I know you mentor Justin Beiber and all, but you and Justin are not the same age. You have been making music for 13 decades. We will still support you if you sing about treating your woman right. You are USHER. You are not a new artist that needs to make a provocative song to get radio play. You can make a song humming and these radio stations are gonna play it. I just don't understand it I guess. If I'm in an industry that won't allow me to GROW UP, mature, and act like I have some sense then I don't want to be in it. That's when I take the money I've earned and I retire. You have to be accountable. You have to realize that the platform isn't just to entertain, but to empower. I'm not gonna lie, when I heard the song about you condoning them strippers on that pole I really wanted to slap you. I really did. I asked the Lord to forgive me though, but I really wanted to swing on you bruh. It was out of brotherly love though. Bruh, you really gotta chill.

To the dancer: Look, I heard what Usher told you. HE LIED TO YOU!! He does mind, that's why he isn't walking you down those red carpets he's on. That's why he said he will pick you up at 3AM and then take you home and make you work some more. You're tired at 3AM. You are ready to go home and lay DOWN. But he's talking about going home and working some more just because he gave you a ride home in his ferrari.

Listen to me. You've stripped long enough. You've built a following online. People want to see you come off that pole. We are all rooting for you. We understand the pain that sent you to the pole. We understand that it seemed like the easiest and fastest route to real money, but you can get money many other ways. Make you a t-shirt and bathing suit line like the reality TV women do and sell that. You might not want to hear this but them call-centers are always hiring. I might even have a paid internship for you. No I don't, I'm lying, but still. You have to let that pole go. I'm not judging you, I'm just telling you. There are other ways.

Again, I'm not judging you. I sold drugs from 18-23. When I decided I had to change I got married and I started working a job that paid me $10/hr MAX! I didn't get that $10/hr until I'd been there for four years and I was quitting by that time because I'd found my purpose. Today I've started 4 companies, have over 30 streams of legal income, and I'm living my God-given purpose. If I can do it, I know you can too.

To the women confused at why men praise strippers: Listen to me. Those are not men. Those are grown-boys. Real men don't prey on women, we pray for them. Real men will seek to understand the pain of that woman and help heal her heart, not perpetuate the cycle. Real men don't long for love from a stripper who is struggling to love herself. Honestly, the thought of strip clubs makes my stomach hurt because I was once the man stripping the self-worth from women and I understand the behind the scenes pain.

It hurts me to see women being reinforced for being looked down on by men and treated like a piece of meat on an auction block. Real men feel for her and we want to see her want better for herself.

The men who praise and marry strippers, porn stars, escorts, and half-naked instagram models do not want a WIFE, they want a slave. They want a human teddy-bear who they can cuddle with when they are hurting, and then throw her up against a wall when they are mad. A human teddy bear has a heart but the man doesn't care. He will invite other human teddy-bears into their bed and ask the main teddy-bear to share him with the new one. These men are so hurt, lost, and confused themselves that he wants a stripper/escort/half-naked model because he believes she is more lost than him. They know that a woman is on a pole because her self-worth and her self-esteem was stripped from her at a young age. They prey on that weakness because they are weak. When you see a man get with a stripper, don't feel like you've lost a good man. You just lost a grown-boy.

Pray for that woman because that man is going to drive her insane and ruin her life. He is going to make her life a living hell on Earth and she will wish that she was single. She will want to leave but she won't know how to leave, just as she's been wanting to leave the pole but didn't know how to leave. We can't hate her. You can't envy her. You have to pray for her. Speak into her life and hope that one day it sinks in.

Pray for them grown-boys too, but sadly them grown-boys know what they are doing most of the time. They know they are weak hearted but they don't want to be strong. They know they are immature but they don't want to mature. To mature takes too much discipline. To be faithful to one woman is lame to them. It means you're a square if you're faithful. They can barely please one woman, but they want two. The first woman hasn't been please a single day since she's been with him but he has the nerves to want to bring another one home. Today, understand his pain. Understand his confusion. Understand his misery. Pray for him. Don't hate him. Speak life into him. Send this blog to everyone of them you see online. He knows he needs to change, and hopefully soon he will be ready.

To the general public: We have to stop supporting this trash music. Send a tweet to the artist and tell him/her that song is trash. Let him know you don't like it or appreciate it. He cares. She cares. They care. They all care. They are human beings. I heard Trey Songz make a positive song once and I heard it on the radio. I bet he made it because he read too many tweets telling him to sing about something other than taking somebody's girl and his love making skills.

Pay attention to the music your kids and your students are listening to. Music has POWER!! Jeezy and Plies music almost killed me! I let it raise me. Their songs were my blueprint for the streets. That's all everybody in the streets of Florida listened to. We all had guns. We all were plotting. We all were trying to come up like they did and we were too ignorant to know that what we were doing isn't what they did to get where they were at that time. Music has power. There will be those wanna be intellectuals who claim music doesn't affect them and that it's just music. Tell that to an artist. It's more than just music. It's an art form. It's a platform. It's a way to express yourself. They aren't doing it for fun. It's their livelihood. They are slaves to a beat and a melody. It's more than just music. It's life. It shapes culture. It gives direction to the world. We are a reflection of our most popular music. These men of today have tattoos only because their favorite artists are their role models. The ones who don't have tattoos it's because they chose a different role model. I was soft hearted but I got all my tattoos because of Tyrese in that "Sweet Lady" video I think it was in 2002 or something. I was copying him because he had women and I wanted women like him. I'm man enough to admit it. These other men are doing the same thing but they won't tell you that's it's because they saw another man with it. They want to believe they woke up and just wanted to do it for themselves. Bruh, STOP!!

We have to do better as a society. We have to stop reinforcing and praising filth. We have to be more active in the lives of our kids. We have to sacrifice our own desires to show our youth the right way to go. I know you might want to listen to some of that stripper music but if your kids are in the backseat listening to it too, you are teaching them who their role models should be. And it's not you. Listen to the music if you want to, but then turn it down and explain the song and how the message is backwards. Explain to the youth the problems with the music and teach them how to reject the messages the same way you claim that you do.

But truthfully, you're not really rejecting all of the messages. The music you listen to is dictating your mood. A lot of you singles are so desperate for love because you're listening to Usher, Chris, Trey, and Drake all day. You can't tell me that you can listen to them all day and not want you some loving. Men and women are being raised by artists who don't have any raising themselves. The artists becomes your momma and daddy. They become the reason for your mood swings. Pay attention to it next time. Each time you hear a song it makes you feel a certain way. It triggers certain thoughts and it dictates your life.

I don't listen to unhealthy music unless I'm studying it so I can refute the messages.

Check what you're listening to. "Your input will determine your output and your output will determine your income."

Bless you,
Tony G.

*Catch me LIVE on the REAL LOVE TOUR!

*If you have a general question that you'd like me to address on the blog please email advice@tonygaskins.com with the subject: BLOG QUESTION

*If you need something positive to listen to, grab my Motivational Spoken Word Album

16 comments:

  1. This was my song at one point but every single time I listened to me the spirit would convict me like the message in this song is wrong . We have to be very careful what we feed ourselves thanks for confirming what I already know tony

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  2. Thank you for serving truth! Wrong message in these songs indeed! I was disappointed the first time I heard this song on the radio. Couldn't do anything but smh and say Usher knows he's lying!

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  3. Absulutely loved this blog. .. especially the section that talks about why men praise stippers

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  4. I heard this song recently. I was definitely dissapointed. Pray for the weak and broken hearted. They need it the most. Thank you for posting this. I feel the same way.

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  5. Nothing but the truth. Well said!

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  6. Thank you for responding Mr. Gaskins!

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  7. Dear Tony. I m from Bosnia and Herzegovina,city of Mostar and I'm muslim. and I want to say thank you for being such a brother. You and your wife are great inspiration for me and you deserve all that it s good. You are making my life more better with your posts. I m happy in my life, but with wise brothers and sisters like yourself,I m happier. God bless your family and you. Because of examples like you, i m sure that true love does exists. <3

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  8. Very ell said!!! Thank you for shedding light in such a DARK deceiving place! As one of the life coaches you certified, it is my duty to inform and empower individuals!!

    I definitely am going to share this on my social media!

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  9. Very well said my brutha...

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  10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  11. Thank you Tony! Every time I hear that song I cringe. I actually heard this song first from a grown-boy singing it. And every time he or anyone else plays it in their car I have to cut it off and voice my opinion.

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  12. I just wanna say I totally love your blog posts,its reality as we see it and I appreciate you sir for being honest. I don't usually comment on blog posts but I just couldnt help commenting on this post. God bless you sir for being such an inspiration. You made me start my own blog to tell it as it is to my friends over here in Nigeria, thank you so much sir...

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  13. I want to thank you for speaking up! We must all do whatever it takes to save our girls!

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  14. Glory to God. You are such a blessing Tony, in this crooked and perverse world. Thank you for letting God use you. You are right 90 % of world music is trash and I thank God that He delivered me and set me free from that trash music because I used to be addicted to music and all those sensual Rnb songs would plant seeds of lust & fornication in my mind . Those songs carry demonic spirits in them that influence you to sin and do all the wrong things God hates and doesn't want you doing. It's trash and I pray that God forgives these artist because they are perverting people especially our youth. God forbid!

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  15. While I do think the song makes absolutely no sense, I don't actually hate it. But my comment is on the part where you talk about men that date strippers, I live in Ga and strippers are everywhere, and it seems like they get the good men which confuses me because I always thought men don't want what everyone can see and touch for a few dollars, but what hit home is my ex actually cheated on me with a stripper, and treated her 10 times better than me, this hurt me, made me question what's wrong with me and led me to a deep depression, everything he said he didn't want in a woman she was. It hurt me so much and made me feel worthless and even consider stripping or some form of sex job since that's what guys want and are respecting more today. This post made me realize several important things, number one to forgive myself for allowing myself to even think of doing something that isn't in me. I have no disrespect for strippers but it's just not me, I prefer my man to only watch me dance and I think strippers can make real money other ways, being makeup artist for example because most of them do makeup really well. Second to forgive him for hurting me as badly as he did and hope he matures and grows from a man boy into a real man, and get over his addiction to strippers.

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