Help Your Woman Out..

We are told as young men that it's a woman's job to cook and clean. We expect to make money and provide, fix the little jobs around the home and that's it. My wife has been cooking dinner and after she's done she's asked me to help her clean up. I'm normally sitting by her working, but I got up and helped out. Monday night I washed all the baby bottles and cleaned up the playroom. Last night after dinner I had to leave and go to the store to buy some more tupperware, then I came home and washed out the bottles, cleaned up the playroom, swept the kitchen floor, put up all the leftover food into the tupperware, cleaned the table, and took out the trash and recycling. I was tired after, but we got everything done by 10pm. If I hadn't helped her it would have taken her until 11pm. 

I was reminded this week there are no gender-roles in a relationship. A man can clean up and a woman can take out the trash. We have to do what we have to do and there are no lines. The only line is if you don't know how to do something, and if that's the case, let your partner teach you so you can pitch in if need be. 

I've also noticed that when I help clean up it's sexy to my wife. She gives me a different type of love and affection after I've pitched in around the house. Of course I love that benefit. So now, every night I'm not on the road speaking I'll be around here pitching in. It made me feel like more of a man, and I was treated like more of a man. 

We've been lied to all this time. 

Blessings,

Tony A. Gaskins Jr. 

Real Love University!

Real Love University starts next Tuesday night. 

When is the last time you took a course on love? 

When is the last time you had a relationship? 

We seek relationships but we don't first learn how to relate and love. That leads to a lot of heartache. I created this course for that very reason! In this course I'll be teaching love and relationships from A-Z. It started as just as experiment but after the feedback I received, I realized that I had to keep going. The course is 50% off right now and I hope you'll join me. To read about the lessons that will be taught please visit The Course Page. 

Talk soon!
Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

Standards vs Preferences...

Standards are your morals and values.

Preferences are the things you'd like your partner to have or be.

Standards matter the most, but it's our preferences that keep us single for too long. Does the person who is interested in you have the morals and values that you're looking for in a partner? If so, then everything else can be worked on.

You may never find someone who meets all your preferences in the height, weight, looks, and income departments. You really need to take off all numbers off of your list and focus on the things that really matter. When you remove the numbers from your list then you're able to see a person for who they really are and start there. As long as you can stand to look at them, they're ok. They don't have to be the best looking person in the world, but are they at least OK? My wife doesn't feel like the most beautiful woman on Earth and I'm sure not the best looking, but we could stand to look at one another. Our morals and values matched and we worked from there.

Don't let your petty preferences keep you single.

Blessings,
Tony Gaskins Jr.

Trinidad and Tobago!!

Trinidad & Tobago!! I'm headed your way! This event is being put on by Corp-So Event Solutions and sponsored by Makay's Rum Cream. 

I'll be having two sessions so hopefully you can make one of them. If you have nothing to do on Saturday then come to both. I may switch it up in one of them, you never know. I'll be teaching on self-love, healthy love, gender specific issues, healing from pain, breaking soul-ties, self-worth, self-respect, and so much more. We will also have a Q&A and book signing. 

This is my first time coming to T&T and I hope it's not the last. Come out so we can meet! 

For tickets visit www.corp-soeventsolutions.com 

See you Saturday! 

Get Over The Little Stuff

Relationships are as hard as you make them. We can find so many things to be petty about and those things can ruin a relationship. If you want to argue, you don't want your relationship to work. You have to communicate, not argue. You can't argue about everything that crosses your mind. Pick your battles wisely. Make sure you have actual evidence and facts, not just speculation and opinions. Make sure the things you want to argue about aren't rooted in your insecurities or pain from your past.

I have a rule that says "if it's not worth breaking up over, it's not worth arguing over." You can discuss it like adults. You can disagree, but that shouldn't turn into an argument. Seek solutions, not more problems. Don't let your insecurities and pettiness ruin your relationship. Be man or woman enough to address things appropriately and to ignore things that don't deserve your attention.

Blessings,
Tony Gaskins Jr.

Healthy Compromise

Love is a healthy compromise. Today I walked 8 miles with my wife. When we got home we were drenched in sweat. I hopped in the shower quick while she fed the baby and got him ready for his afternoon nap. When I got out of the shower I was so tired and I was behind on work. She said she was gonna ask me to get in the pool with her but I showered too fast. Knowing that she wanted to get in the pool I said lets do it. I didn't feel like it. I didn't feel like it at all, but I did it. Then after the pool I had to take a second shower within an hour, but this time I had company and that shower went on to some fun.. I'll leave that there so I don't have to change my PG rating on the blog.. 

But I learned a valuable lesson that I've known, but sometimes forget.. That lesson is that love is a healthy compromise. You have to give to get. Men and women are different and we need and want different things but we have to find a way to meet in the middle without compromising our self-worth and respect. It didn't hurt me to swim after walking 8 miles and showering. The end result of all that was what I wanted but I had to give to get. As a woman she wants romance. She wants love and affection. She wants quality time. As a man I don't need as much nor do I want as much but it doesn't hurt me to compromise for her. When it was all said and done, she got what she wanted and I got what I wanted and we both needed the same things. Love, time, and affection. 

Get out of your comfort zone for your partner. Do some things they want to do and have fun doing it. You'll get something out of the deal too.

Never compromise your self-worth or self-respect and don't keep compromising if it's not being reciprocated, ever! 

Blessings,

Tony A. Gaskins Jr. 

Like who likes you!

Who likes you? Why don't you like them back?

I've come to realize that a lot of singles have someone chasing after them. There is an old saying that says "like who likes you, not who you like." That's one of the hardest things to do but it may be necessary. Sure, they may not be the most attractive person you've ever seen, but are they that ugly? The good thing about liking someone who likes you is that you've already been validated and affirmed. That's much better than seeking validation from someone who isn't interested in you. 

The reason why we don't like who likes us is because it's too easy. We want the person who doesn't want us because if we can get them it makes us feel worthy. We end up seeking approval instead of real love. It's time to take a long look in the mirror and make sure you're not chasing someone who is running from you. It's time to make sure you're not running from someone who is willing to give you the world. 

Blessings,

Tony Gaskins Jr.