Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Are men influenced by their friends to cheat?

Do you want to believe that your man only cheated because his friends pressured him to?

Well, that's not the case. Peer pressure ends in high school for most men. Some men will go into their adulthood still following the crowd, but most men make decisions for themselves even if it is what everyone else is doing. He did it because he wanted to do it.

Contrary to the popular belief of most women, men are actually supportive of their faithful friends. Deep down every man wants to find the strength to be 100% committed to one woman at some point in his life. Therefore when he sees a man who has the strength to be committed, he admires him. If he's a real friend he will never ask him to cheat. The cheating man really desires to graduate to the faithful life one day.

Men who cheat will talk about it in their circle but they won't tell their friends to cheat. The only time men support cheating is when they feel their friend is being taken advantage of or being cheated on. There may be some opportunities to cheat but no man wants to be the reason for another man's breakup. It's just not the case. If your man cheats on you it's because he wanted to. He may use his friend as a scapegoat but it's not his friend's fault that he cheated. He made the decision as a grown-boy to cheat on you. He has to pay the consequences for that.

I've been around some of the biggest dogs in the world and they wouldn't encourage me or any other man in a relationship to cheat. A relationship is seen as God's work and it's respected by most people who are on the outside looking in. Yes, there are some homewreckers but it's not as common as you may think.

So if your guy is having a "guys night" every week and you know he's actually with his friends, that may just be a healthy time that he needs to wind down. If he turns that time into his time to cheat, hold him accountable and don't let him use his friend as a scapegoat even if his friend did influence him to cheat. A grown man has to be able to make healthy choices based on what's best for his life, no excuses.

Tony A. Gaskins jr.

*This question was submitted by a reader. To submit a question please email advice@tonygaskins.com

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