Wednesday, May 6, 2015

It's Hard To Walk Away

It's hard to walk away, but you must! You have to make sure that you're not holding on out of ego. You have to be sure that you're not trying to raise an adult or change a person who is unwilling to change. It's not about you, it's about them. It's not that you're not worthy of love. It's that they aren't ready to learn how to love. You have to recognize that and be willing to walk away.

Sometimes it's the walking away part that makes a person change. If you've left before and it didn't influence them to change then the next time you leave it needs to be for good.

We waste so much unnecessary time trying to make love work. You have to be willing to admit when you didn't know love and you built on lust instead. You have to be willing to cut your losses, learn your lesson(s), and move on stronger and wiser. You can't force love and you shouldn't have to.

Love is a gift not a curse. Don't live a cursed life by trying to hold onto a lie. Evaluate your situation. If you know you've done all you can to make it work and it hasn't, let it go. Love is waiting for you but you can't attract it if you're still tied to a lie.

I pray you find the strength to leave if you know you need to leave!

Tony A. Gaskins Jr.
www.TonyGaskins.com

Real Love Tour-> www.tonygaskins.com/events

20 comments:

  1. Amen and Amen! I Receive it! Divine Blessings to the Gaskins Family in Jesus name.

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  2. God knows this is what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much for your wisdom and for letting God speak through you :-) Keep it coming!

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  3. Amen! I needed this and i receive it. I am in the battle of walking away. It is so hard and i can only handle one day at a time but i have to do it!! This time i will stay away.

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    1. You can do it...I just recently broke up with my guy because after talking and many conversations I still was not getting what I needed out of the relationship. He's been hurt and has closed his heart off but now fear has paralyzed him in being able to be truly intimate. So I say that if you're not being fulfilled then have the strength to know and believe that you deserve better and never compromise your standards!

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  4. It's good to read it and I have been told this many of times by many people, but it's hard when u had a relationship where it was amazing he was what I never had, we had such a connection and I thought he was my other half and then he just cries and says he had to leave. He is a guy who has been hurt so many times by past relationships, family and people that he just shuts down. I'm just so lost, confused and it's hard to walk away.

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    1. The best you can do is give him the space to heal. He has not dealt with the pain. Gift him that. He has to understand that hurt people only HURT people. It's hard, I've been in your situation and had to let go otherwise my staying in the relationship re-inforced that his behaviour is correct. Sounds like even he knows he is wrong. It is the dream of what could be that is holding you, but you have to realise what is. You can't fake it, mould it, 'wait it out'. He has to get his mind right. Only you know the point you can get to. However have boundaries because giving all your love to someone when they don't feel worthy only drives them away further in confusion because deep down we all know we need to give love in order to receive. Praying for you.

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  5. My guy has so much baggage kids by two different women plus some and I don't. I get asked so many times why do I stay when I desreve to be treated better and I can get someone who doesn't have kids, baby momma drama, etc. I'm in love and I think I have it all figured out at 24, but after reading this I pray that I can take that next step and leave for good and not go running back.

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  6. It's so hard to walk away from someone you love when you have to be in each others life because of the baby. I keep walking away but not really because I still want my family. I know I need to walk away for good and this blog spoke to me. I owe it to myself to really leave and live my life happy

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  7. I always find the words I need in this blog! I am walking away from a relationship that took so much from me, it drained me to the point that I thought I needed HIM to keep recharging me. But in time I've learned I only need myself...to work on the great woman that I know I am. Now, I'm so heartbroken I feel it in my guts! Fortunately I have supportive people around me that understand me and will be there when I need...Walking away is so hard, but so necessary!

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  8. Sometimes you just gotta say, "better you than me". Walk away and let the next woman deal with it, if that's what she chooses. I've had to do it and I will NEVER do it again. A man knows when he really loves a woman. It doesn't take leaving for him to figure it out. Some people will be with anyone just so they don't have to be alone. Don't be a stand in. Get out of his way

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    1. Very well said. It's MUCH better to walk away than to settle for less than what God has for you. If another woman is willing to keep going through changes thinking the man(grown boy) will change...let her.

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  10. Amen. It's so true. I'm going through it right now. I thought my love would make him want to change. He doesn't want to change. We have been through so much and its hard to give up on someone u love. He will always be a grown azz boy and I deserve better. But I will always love him.

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  11. This was another great blog!. I can relate to it entirely! I first heard of Tony Gaskins in December 2013 as I was on YouTube and not looking for anything about relationships. Somehow Tony Gaskins' video entitled Love vs. In Love was attached to another video, so I clicked on it. At the time I was in a secret so called relationship (dark dating) with a grown boy, although I did not know at the time because I was naive to the games that grown boys play. I was becoming a little stronger on my own and and the first video I watched provoked me to watch all of Tony Gaskins' videos and start keeping up with him on YT and Fb. I started getting stronger, but then the grown boy started talking with one of my so called close friends at the time. I was devastated and it pushed me back emotionally. They proceeded to get into a relationship June 2014. I had to see them flaunt this in my face constantly because we are all members of the same congregation. I was hurt, angry, and felt betrayed. I kept up with Tony Gaskins and most of all I kept in prayer about changing myself internally, so that I could love myself and prepare for a healthy relationship. In January 2015 they officially broke it off. I found myself back in communication again with him. I realized that he was the same manipulating, verbally abusive, broken person that I had left. Since that time I have placed him on call block and text block. We are all still members of the same congregation, but things have changed in that I love him a distance. I began being in consistent and deep communication with another man in the congregation. We had always talked, but our conversations are now on a deeper level. I really like him and deep down I always had liked him. We have agreed to take our time to see if it turns into something more. He is sincere, kind, respectful, and honest.The best way to start off any relationship is to be friends first. The grown boy is jealous and I make sure that he does not mess things up. One thing for sure is what God has for me is for me. I learned so many lessons and I am glad that I did not become bitter because of it. I take responsibility for being in that situation and refuse to play the victim role. I shared this to encourage anyone (man or woman) in a relationship with a broken person to move on. If it is in God's will for you to be in a relationship, that special someone will reveal himself or herself to you! But until that time, love yourself enough to let go and stay away from a toxic relationship.

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  12. Been through so much often means you went through it even after you knew you should leave. You stayed and kept doing the same thing over and over. That's going through a lot together for nothing and using it as an excuse to stick around. Time invested does not add up to a worthwhile relationship.

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    1. Couldn't have said it better... PERFECT. So true!!

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  13. My husband and I separated twice last year. The first time he left for a week, of his own choosing, but I asked him to return and he did. The second time was last summer because I asked him to go......only out of anger and thinking this would make him fight for his family. It will be a year soon that we have been separated and there is barely any communication between us and we see each other only because of our daughter. During this past year I have made major changes in mind, body and spirit but I still can't completely "let go." He say's he left because I made him, but he left because he wanted to, I just made it easier for him to do so by opening the door. With all that being said, I know I need to close this chapter of my life for good but it is truly heartbreaking and it has taken me this long to even accept thinking it. I never thought I would go from married to single over a few arguments but by the God's grace I will make it through!

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  14. Its dificult to leave but God gave me thé strenght. And with all the pressure from our parents this days. All is well.

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